11/29/22

Temple

Manifest Joy... right?
That all you have to do -
You just continue to be happy,
And everything will fall
Into place and be

Perfect?

What is perfect?
Not this life 
Where every time I move 
I am reminded that 
My body- this temple-
Has a garden that bears no fruit.

I lay fallow.

But there is more to food
Than fruit
And there is more to life than
Love.

As the slippery kisses slide down the steps
In blood
I am reminded
There are bigger dreams
And time is precious.

What little we are allowed
Is sacred.

We wait for the world to set things right
But don't look to our own hands
To build a pathway to the temple
Inviting opportunity.

The gods help those who put in effort
Smiling with pride
That you can change the world.

10/18/22

Deprived

Deep into sleep

Running through REM

Melatonin muddled


You woke me up


You started quiet

Softly speaking of treason

In our bed


Lamenting my lack of compassion


My sleep induced haze

And I drifted in and out

Trying to stay awake

While you bitterly drained bile

On me.


In response, reaching

Out only to slake the surge

Of anger.

I struggled to stay awake.


Until I could no longer take it

And sat up, 

Hoping to stay roused

By becoming defensive.


I looked at the clock again.

10:30 had changed to past midnight.

2 hours had passed.


I tried to speak through accusations


20 years throw in my face, 

Though only ten of them are yours

But all betrayal

Must be accounted for.


Tried to speak, but shut out

For the phrase “let me finish”

And all to do is wait.


1:30 ticks by, but we didn't notice.

My responses must have seemed unreasonable

Because by two, you were hissing hate

Telling me that I’m worthless,

That I deserve the pain

Of a broken heart.


Overcome, I bolted to the bathroom,

And locked the door against the blast

Of bad behavior.


Barriers abate the hate

And you calmed, asking of safety

Knowing of the silent scars

That bear witness on my arms

Of past pain


You demanded to see wrist and thigh

When the door was opened.


My sister was right– I should have slept

Back pressed to door

Towels for pillows.


Instead, at three

I slinked back to bed.

Too exhausted to argue again.


10/7/22

Untitled Poem 9/12

 I never
expect

you.

You just drip
into my life
like sweet summer
rain,

flood my senses
until all is full of
you,

And when you are gone
I crave you.

9/27/22

Throuple

 Prince: Will you have me lady?
Beatrice: No, my lord, unless I might have another for working days. 
Your Grace is too costly to wear every day.
(Shakespeare Much Ado About Nothing II.i.319-323)

And they lived happily ever after- 
But is "they" always two?

Can three live as well as two
Or does jealousy seep through
A crack created when she smiles
In a different way
Than she smiles at you?
Or you share a kind of connection
That has his eyes blaze
With uncertainty.


9/22/22

Equal Night

 Equal Night


No lamb or lions for this
The celebration of equal delights
Autumn tiptoes in
On black cat's rumbling purrs
Dividing day and night
With a scratch and a scream.

The season of comfort: 
Flannel sheets and pumpkin pies
Brings us closer to thoughts
Of our own final harvests
Pulling the veil back.

Preceded by pleasure,
Sinking down to sweet earth
Sipping the stars by moonlight,
We become drunk on promises.

9/19/22

Flannel

Slide so sweetly between
the soft shell of sheets.
Another night of dreams awaits.

This favorite fabric is fine.
A feeling of freedom found,
no longer bound
by the restraint of reality.

Carried back on waves of wistfulness
Folded in flannel
Pressed around me
the protection of pure love.

Flannel was my fortune -
And my downfall.
Wrapped in a world, 
dreaming of blissful delights.

Now it reminds of
winter afternoons
wrapped in a safe world.
sheltered by you.

9/17/22

This is just to say

This is just to say
that I have lit

the oak moss and amber candle
which you seem to hate.

It is not that
I want to keep you out of
my room.

It's just that I like the smell.

Time to myself
Is a bonus.